I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
