You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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