youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize