I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
