i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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