I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize