You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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