you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
