Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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