Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
