So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize