I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
