Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
