So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
