therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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