I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
