And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
