I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
