curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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