some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
