I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize