I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
