dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
