chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
