You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
