addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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