Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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