There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
