Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
