What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
