I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
