i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
