I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I am naked and annoyed.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm really busy with my period
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