yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
