dude i'm inner monologue high
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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