Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
