I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
