were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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