he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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