I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
