I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
