is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
