I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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