508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
