Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
