At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
