She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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