I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
