Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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