Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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