Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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