Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
