Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize