I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
