His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
