no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
