she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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