I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Bring me that man meat
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
