i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
