I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Randomize
