butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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