Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
