So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
