My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
