We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
