in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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