a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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