Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize